Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
~ Luke 6:36-7 ~
In this New Testament quote, why is compassion linked with being non-judgmental? Simple. You can't be compassionate when you're sitting in judgment.
If we believe we're better off than a homeless person, for example, this is only the self-important pride of the ego-mind and its concepts and beliefs speaking. (The "ego-mind" is our rational thinking mind which perceives itself as separate and distinct from the world and others.) The feelings of repulsion toward that person cause suffering inside of us and are the result of our ignorance of the oneness and inter-connectedness of all life.
When we truly and deeply experience the oneness of all life, we have humility. We no longer have the desire to put ourselves above or make ourselves less than others. True humility is the result of recognizing that all beings are of equal importance. We call this way of perceiving equanimity. When we embody this, we treat everyone with respect and kindness as if they were Christ, Allah, Krishna, Buddha or God. Without equanimity, we cannot have compassion.
It's easy to feel compassion for someone suffering for reasons you feel drawn to, like a child dying of hunger in Africa. But compassion doesn't come easily when we judge the person repulsive or not worthy of our compassion, like a suicide bomber, rapist or clergy member who's guilty of sexual abuse.
Compassion and forgiveness are unconditional love in action. Are we really being compassionate and forgiving if we only allow ourselves to love members of our own country, race or religion? Of course not, because that involves judgment and separation and is conditional.
Robin Rice from Be Who You Are Productions shared this with us: "I've taken many actions that were made without awareness of what the outcome would be, and so has everyone I know. Each time I take an action that creates unhappiness or suffering, I forgive myself and gain compassion for others, and each time someone else does, I forgive them and gain compassion for myself. I'll compassionately forgive you--will you compassionately forgive me? "
Day 4 - Practicalities of Forgiveness
When I have forgiven myself and remembered who I Am,
I will bless everyone and everything I see.
~ A Course in Miracles ~
Each day we take hundreds of actions. Often we're doing our best to consider others when making choices, but oftentimes we don't. It's not that we're intentionally unkind and selfish. We often operate from our own limited point of view and are not aware of all the consequences of our actions. As a result, someone is hurt by what we did or said and they become angry with us, or we become angry with ourselves.
We also hurt others when their beliefs, opinions and ideas challenge our notion of what's right. This can happen when a family member doesn't agree with us and we stop speaking with them. It happens on a larger scale when one religious group doesn't agree with the beliefs of another and they choose to blame and terrorize each other.
Humans are the only species who continually punish themselves by re-experiencing past wounds. We regret something we've said or didn't say, something we've done or didn't do, or we blame someone else for their actions or failure to act. Each time we remember the situation we reactivate hurt, anger, sadness and suffering.
Forgiveness involves the action of letting go and surrendering our attachment to judging circumstances from our personal point of view. Conflict arises when people act according to their beliefs and concepts without acknowledging that other people have their own concepts and beliefs.
For example, if someone commits a murder, we understand that something in that person's mind compelled them to take their actions. We may become very angry and feel deep hate towards that person and judge them harshly. The solution is to see the "what is" in the situation. In this case, it's that someone acted in ignorance of the true nature of humanity and created suffering both in themselves and in others. (This concept was expressed by Jesus when he said; "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34)
Forgiveness does not mean we condone acts of violence or physical and verbal abuse of others. It means we forgive actions committed in ignorance of our divinity and inter-connectedness. This is may be difficult to put into practice, but we assure you that expressing unconditional love offers more to heal ourselves and the world, than anger, hatred, blame and violence.
Rev. Diane Berke, Co-Founder & Spiritual Director of the One Spirit Learning Alliance/One Spirit Interfaith Seminary reminds us: "To forgive means to recognize that deep within us there is a presence of profound love, a reservoir of deep and abiding peace, that nothing outside of us can destroy or separate us from."
With all our love, Sheri and Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for condemning and judging others. I recognize when I condemn others I am condemning myself. We are all one and there is no difference between that person and me.
You can contact Rev. Diane Berke, Co-Founder & Spiritual Director of One Spirit Learning Alliance/One Spirit Interfaith Seminary at: http://www.onespiritinterfaith.org/
Day 5 - How and Why We Forgive
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.
Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
~ Catherine Ponder ~
Catherine Ponder's words (above) give clear instructions about when to forgive. Any time you feel resentment or regret toward yourself or another, it's time to forgive. When you are plagued by a circumstance from the past, it's time to forgive. When you believe you're right and someone else is wrong it's time to forgive. When you are criticizing, blaming and making demands of yourself or others, it's time to forgive.
You may have heard all of this before. But when we go deeper in exploring forgiveness, we see that with forgiveness there is compassion, true freedom from emotional pain, reconciliation between people, unconditional love and world peace.
When we shine the light into the very essence of forgiveness, we discover that we are an expression of love in the universe, and powerful creators. It's our made-up concepts and ideas that create separation, conflict, pain, misery, and war - whether we create war within ourselves with thoughts of unworthiness, doubt and fear - or we create war on a battlefield with missiles, rockets and guns.
The challenge we offer is to move past judgment itself. When we say forgiveness is the act of pardoning or excusing, that's saying that we've judged a person's acts or words to be wrong according to our point of view or the point of view of society. This is where we get stuck over and over again, constantly judging, becoming angry and then having to forgive.
When we finally let go of the judgment we hold of ourselves and others, we'll no longer have anything to forgive. Only when we judge is it necessary to forgive. You might be thinking that we have to judge or society will slip into chaos, but this is not true. With compassion, we can help others take responsibility for their words and deeds committed in non-awareness of their divinity.
With all our love, Susyn and Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Here are some suggestions on how to forgive, from our friend Brandt Morgan's new book, Vision Walk: Asking Questions, Getting Answers, Shifting Consciousness:
Today's Affirmation
I forgive all beings for believing "we" are individuals, separate from Spirit and for creating a painful earthly dream of life.
Day 6 - Self-Sabotage & Intuition
The mind can assert anything and pretend it has proved it. My beliefs I test on my body, on my intuitional consciousness, and when I get a response there, then I accept.
~D.H. Lawrence ~
Our lives are filled with choices; from what to eat and wear, to who to marry, and what medical treatments to follow. Daily life choices are often made automatically. However, our bigger life choices are often influenced by the opinions, ideas and beliefs of others (including our parents, friends, the media, and the prevailing consciousness of our culture). We look outside of ourselves for the right answer that will result in living happily ever after. The question is always: What should I do?
How many times in your life have you made a decision only to say afterwards, I should have taken the other job (or moved into the other house, or turned down another street on my way to work). I knew what to do, I just didn't pay attention. The other choice didn't seem logical! Although we gather the opinions of others in an effort to figure out the best course of action, time after time, we fail to access our most valuable source of information - our intuition, our inner knowing. We fail to acknowledge that we are wired from the inside-out with a fail-safe system which, when followed, illuminates a path that nourishes our deepest desires and our greatest well-being.
Take a moment to identify when you've sabotaged yourself by allowing your mind to edit what's possible for you in life? How often have you made choices and taken actions dictated by the fear-based voice of your ego-mind? Our friend Pamela Harper RN shares this thought with us: "Without intentional, purposeful thought we might start to think that life events are somehow random. We might also venture onto the path of the "victim". My mantra states there are no victims - only volunteers. Every step of my journey is paved with a knowing that I am surrounded by divine opportunities to fulfill my purpose in prosperity." Indeed!
After years of muting our intuition how do we discern between our ego-mind and our inner knowing? The answer is simple; listen to your body. Remember, our intuition comes through our bodies as a sense of absolute knowing that may be experienced as chills, a whoosh of sensation, or amplified sensory experiences. The words that follow are simple direct statements: make a left turn, write about forgiveness, buy this house. There's no story, no long explanation or rationale. To strengthen your intuition, clear the slate and forgive the ways you've sabotaged yourself in the past.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Make a list of all the choices you regret in which fear-based beliefs replaced your intuition.
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for the self-sabotage of ignoring and failing to honor my intuition. My intuition is my personal guidance system. My choices are based on my intuition, expressed through the wisdom of my body.
Day 7 - Judgment and Acceptance
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.
~ Albert Einstein ~
How often during the course of a day do you find yourself judging, criticizing and evaluating others? Do you defend your judgments because you believe you're right? How often do you disregard another point of view because you self-righteously believe that your view is more loving and more caring? My guess is that if you pay attention to your thoughts and words for just one day, you'll discover that judging dominates much of your thinking.
Countless conversations are focused on gossiping about others, and most of these discussions are filled with judgments about how the person looks, what's going on in their life, and our opinions and criticisms of how they're living their lives. We seem to have endless opinions of how others should live their lives and we feel enormous freedom to express our views.
Our thoughts form the basis of the world we experience. When the main focus of our thinking is on what's wrong with someone else or ourselves, we're instructing our eyes to only see what is wrong, what doesn't work, or problems. Let's imagine our judgments and criticisms as invisible poisonous darts aimed directly at the person we're judging. At the same time we're thinking these thoughts, the very poison we are projecting is moving through our own bodies.
We live in an interdependent world here on earth. To survive and thrive, we're dependent on being in community. Communities fail when there is constant judgment and criticism of its members. Communities thrive when the worthiness, diversity, and inter-connectedness of their members is acknowledged.
Isn't it time to free ourselves of the tyranny of judging and see the perfection of each moment, the gift available when our ego-mind is put to rest and we see the world through the eyes of love?
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Anytime you notice you are judging yourself or others:
Acknowledge yourself for noticing, and say the following: "I recognize the voice of judgment within me and I no longer choose to victimize anyone."
Today's Affirmation
Today I open myself to the breathtaking potential of forgiveness. I see myself free from the burdens of resentment, the weight of guilt, and any and all barriers to healthy relationships. I recognize the divine calling to forgive myself and others, and to let go of the past, and by doing so, I actively step into the realm of unlimited possibilities paved by the path of continuous forgiveness.
Excerpt from The Power of Our Way, A Path to A Collective Consciousness by author, Anita Pathik Law.
Day 8 - Perfection and Surrender
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add,
but when there is nothing left to take away.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~
A main function of the mind is to analyze, compare, separate and qualify. It performs in a similar manner to your computer's operating system. When we align ourselves with the point of view of the mind, we're always going to compare what we perceive with what our personal database considers "normal" or "the way it should be."
Comparisons in and of themselves are neither good nor bad. It's when we use comparisons to hurt or judge that emotional suffering occurs. We can use the word perfection to represent the mental image of the way we think life should be. However, each person's computer mind will contain a different model of perfection; and it's not logical to think that every human would have the same picture of perfection.
When we recognize that from the vantage point of the mind perfection is a made-up point of view, we can easily forgive ourselves and others for disrespectful judgments and comparisons.
In talking to our dear friend Ray Dodd, author of The Power of Belief and BeliefWorks, he had the following to say about perfection: "Often our motive for self-improvement and perfection rests on one simple belief: I'm not okay as I am. No one will really accept me as I am. I know this to be true because I cannot accept myself as I am. The myth of self-improvement is actually self-rejection, because its seed is the belief I am not, which lives within the fear-based structure of the ego-mind."
The bottom line is: The infinite consciousness of Spirit is perfect, and all of us are part of that perfection.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
Day 9 - Unworthiness & Success
The Successful Self feels valuable, self-accepting and self-confident.
~ Dorothy Rowe, The Successful Self ~
Success is something we all desire. Getting good grades in school, scoring points for our team, winning the game, dating the homecoming Queen or King, marrying Mr. or Ms. Right, landing a promotion, living on the right side of the tracks - the list goes on and on. As much as we desire success, our experience of success is fleeting.
When we're successful, it's rare that we take the time to celebrate our natural talents as creators. Instead, we set our sights on our next goal - hoping to feel good about ourselves when we get the larger house, fancier car or bigger paycheck - unaware that the process of creation is what's truly important.
We've been raised to believe that success and failure are real. We perceive the world through our definitions - labeling some experiences as successful and others as failures. If we get the job we've interviewed for, we're successful, and if we're not hired we're failures. If we marry we're successful in love, and if we divorce we're failures. The bottom line is: Success and failure are based on the meaning we assign to a particular outcome.
Why is it that humans who began their lives as magnificent creations are so often walking around feeling a sense of failure and unworthiness? We've been programmed and domesticated, often unconsciously, to believe that we don't measure up to an outside standard of success based on a particular outcome. The truth is we're always successful because we're always creating. While we may not enjoy a particular outcome, we can seize the present moment and successfully create anew. To embody success requires taking responsibility for our actions and forgiving ourselves for believing we are failures and unworthy.
As husband and wife psychology team Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD say: "You are always succeeding. The question, is at what? Until you realize that what you call "failure" is motivated largely by unconscious loyalties to ideas and intentions that date back to your early childhood, you are caught in a powerless cycle of unending repetition. However, when you realize this, the door swings open to forgiveness, of yourself and others, and a future of new, life-enhancing possibilities."
If we could take action from this point of view, we'd never be afraid of failure because we'd understand that there is no such thing. Without the fear of failure hanging over us, we would be bold and adventurous with our lives.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Create a list of thoughts and behaviors you've believed to be evidence of your unworthiness and/or failure. Here are some examples:
When you hear yourself thinking the thoughts on your list, or engaging in those behaviors, acknowledge yourself for noticing, forgive yourself, and create a new choice in thought and behavior that supports your experience of success.
Today's Affirmation
Day 10 - Addiction and Detachment
I did it to myself. It wasn't society - it wasn't a pusher, it wasn't being blind or being black or being poor. It was all my doing.
~ Ray Charles ~
In our society, we tend to look at addiction from a very limited point of view. We judge people to be addicts if they are "hooked" on drugs, alcohol, food, sex, smoking, exercise, gambling, shopping and/or work. Better said, addiction is any habitual psychological and/or physiological dependence on a substance, thought, practice or behavior that one cannot intentionally control. For example:
My friend Lee McCormick, founder of The Ranch Recovery Center in Tennessee, and author of The Spirit Recovery Meditation Journal: Meditations for Reclaiming Your Authenticity, shared this about his personal experience with addiction.
"In the beginning I was told and believed, that addiction was not just a diagnosis; it was a definition that came immediately after my name. I learned that I needed to ask forgiveness from all those I had harmed. What I wasn't taught was to forgive myself. Someone had to be wrong, and I was the one on trial. There was no forgiveness in that scenario."
"Forgiveness was the answer, but not coming from my self-judgment and guilt. Once I took responsibility for my actions without judgment, I forgave because I wanted to free myself from suffering and guilt as a gift of self-love and respect. Bottom line: Unconditional love is not given out of guilt and fear of judgment - and true forgiveness is love in action."
Taking responsibility for our addiction to the human mind and the things that it tells us to do is a powerful action. For example, instead of saying we are addicted to substances or behaviors, we can say we are addicted to the commands the mind is giving us to hurt ourselves with those substances or behaviors. No matter what kinds of addictions we have been engaged in, all of us deserve forgiveness for not having the awareness that we are Spirit using the mind that is thinking.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Observe your addictions. Make a list of the real reasons behind those behaviors.
Today's Affirmation
Day 11 - Victim hood and Divinity
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don't blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny.
~ Albert Ellis ~
Our society loves to blame. Where does this tendency come from, and why is our culture so invested in its' victim mentality? Simply put, if we set ourselves up as victims, we don't have to take responsibility for our actions and choices. It's much easier to blame things on others - that way we don't have to feel guilty about anything.
Guilt, shame and remorse are great strategies of the ego-mind to keep us disempowered, weak, and at the mercy of beliefs that aren't the truth. They keep us from embracing our divine nature and the power we've been given to create our reality. Most importantly, they allow us to abdicate the responsibility we've been given by Spirit for our lives.
The truth is there are no good or bad actions - only ones that are taken with awareness or without awareness. When we totally disempower the judge in our ego-minds, we no longer feel guilt, shame or remorse. In addition, if we are not guilty, we do not have to fear punishment. It is the fear of punishment that has us wanting to blame our actions on others.
Once the fear of judgment and punishment is removed, we can take responsibility for the actions we have taken in non-awareness with gratitude - rather than guilt. (Taking responsibility means that we make good on what we've done to the best of our ability, which is a more effective approach then simply receiving punishment.)
Then we can clearly see what we've done to create pain and suffering in our lives or the lives of others and take different actions next time. This is called learning from our life experiences, and the lessons learned are far more valuable then feeling bad about choices we've made in non-awareness, beating ourselves up and becoming weighed down with guilt.
Our friend and musician Cari Cole (creator of the CD Circle of Fire) was kind enough to share part of her personal story so that you can understand what's possible with forgiveness.
"My mother left my father when I was two years old and took me with her. She crossed state lines, left me in a foster home and never came back. I believed I was a victim of circumstances. And most of my life has been a struggle to survive and overcome the deep sadness and loss within me.
"What I finally discovered after 20 years of therapy, was that if I could tell myself the truth I could get the perspective I needed to let go of the past. The truth wasn't that my mother and father left me because I wasn't good enough for them, (which I had believed unconsciously from an early age) they left me because of their own failings.
"Victims lie to themselves because the truth is too painful. They lie for fear of losing the only structure they know, however painful it is. Ultimately, it was my suffering that drove me desperately to the truth and the light, and to forgive my parents and myself."
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Take notice of three situations in which you felt victimized by.
Today's Affirmation
Day 12 - Rejection and Gratitude
Beauty for me is self-acceptance.
~Lauren Fleishman, The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty~
Most people I've known, particularly women, usually view their bodies through the lens of criticism, judgment and disapproval. We aren't born with these judgments and criticisms - they're learned, and learned at a very early age.
In the process of growing up, we're socialized, domesticated, and programmed with concepts and ideas about what a "perfect" body is, including its size, shape, color and weight. We then go on to spend much of our lives evaluating ourselves and others according to familial, cultural, and societal concepts of "perfection."
It's not necessary to determine which of these images is the true expression of perfection; what's important to realize is that our ideas of physical beauty are concepts - they're made-up thoughts. If a belief is merely a fabricated idea, it's just as easy to make up a new idea.
Consciously or not, with awareness or no awareness, our life experience is based upon our beliefs, which are simply thoughts charged with emotional energy. This emotional energy has a frequency that includes the experience of unconditional love and well-being, or pain and suffering. When we judge, criticize, and belittle the way our bodies look, we experience disappointment and dissatisfaction. This judging nourishes the inner critic and separates us from gratitude and love. Make the choice to honor, love, and express gratitude for your beautiful body - on bad hair days, when your shape doesn't fit some outside standard, when wrinkles appear - on all days.
Remember, it's through our physical bodies that our spiritual essence is able to have a human experience.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the Lesson
The following practice was generously contributed by Carol Hansen Grey from her CD Lighten Up.
Do this 5-minute-a-day Lighten Up exercise to align body-mind-spirit and to bring yourself into a state of unconditional love for your body.
Today's Affirmation
Day 13 - Shame and Communion
It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now - with its aches and its pleasures - is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.
~ Pema Chodron ~
How many of us have heard the statement that our bodies are the temple for our Spirit? Most of us, I imagine. If we feel there's truth in this statement, then why do we constantly renounce our bodies by labeling the way they function as disgusting, embarrassing, shameful, and not Godly? There's purpose in the design and function of all our bodily systems - we need them for our physical survival. Whether we judge them to be bad or good, doesn't change the fact that these processes are going to occur regardless of whether we like them or not (like sweating, burping and yes, passing gas).
Dr. Todd Sinett of BalanceInTheBody.com, shared the following about the way we speak about bodily functions: "Perhaps once we learn to appreciate our bodily functions, we can stop using euphemisms to describe them - especially when teaching our children. Ridiculous words are used for urination (wee-wee), defecation (poop), sexual intercourse (doing it), and menstruation (period) - as if the actual words were too harsh, indelicate or offensive. How many children grow up not knowing the actual words for their own bodily functions or 'private parts?"
It is the mind, which has no physical form per se - think of it as a virtual reality - that judges the body. Allowing our minds to judge our bodies is a disrespectful act of sabotage. In this way, the ego-mind victimizes us with our own judgment, and the result is shame, embarrassment, and suffering.
Let's make the commitment to practice self-respect, gratitude, and acceptance for our physical bodies. Although the ego-mind is responsible for some pretty clever acts of self-sabotage, it's important to have gratitude for it too. With this awareness, we can practice peaceful and loving communion of the mind, body and Spirit (the meaning of yoga!) rather than the fragmentation and separation that occurs when we reject aspects of ourselves.
Let's forgive ourselves for believing all the judgments that our minds have passed on our physical bodies and have gratitude for all the metabolic and chemical processes our bodies engage in and celebrate them.
Day 14 - Abuse and Nurturing
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
~Jim Rohn~
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Our body is our home which Spirit lives and breathes life through. We can view our body as a finely crafted instrument through which we offer our unique expression of Love to the world. My guess is that at some level you agree with these statements, but how does your agreement translate into action?
Often we abuse our bodies through our thoughts and actions. We complain about, judge and evaluate the way our bodies look, function and feel. We eat poorly balanced diets, overeat, or starve ourselves. We wake up early, stay up late, use caffeine to keep us alert, and take pills to help us relax. We don't exercise, or we over-exert ourselves. We fail to get regular check-ups for our teeth, our eyes, and our general sense of well-being.
We take drugs to enhance our sex-life, get surgery to keep us looking young, and rely upon legal or illegal substances to manage our stress and mood. We get angry with our bodies when they re-act with aches, pains, fatigue, dis-ease and distress. Generally, it takes a "scream" on the part of our body in the form of a medical diagnosis, illness or debilitating pain to get our attention.
My guess is if you focus your attention for one week on how you treat your body, you'll be amazed at the degree of unconscious abuse you inflict. What are your beliefs about your body? Do they honor this sacred home of your Spirit or do they abuse your physical form as an unwanted nuisance?
"Pay attention to what you're paying attention to," states wellness coach, Connie Eberhart of (im' pakt) Personal Wellness. "What you focus on expands. Have a vision for what you are doing, and more importantly, how you are feeling when you are living your Healthiest Self!"
Our bodies are amazing creations, and just as with any fine instrument, they require care and maintenance. The perfect place to begin your personal body nurturing routine is to forgive yourself for past mistreatment and abuse. Remember to love and bless your body, it's the only one you've got.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for abusing my body in my thoughts and actions. I commit to easily nurturing and lovingly caring for my body.
For assistance in making new choices for a New Way of Life, log on to http://www.impactyourlife.org/ and sign up for a complementary exploratory coaching session with wellness coach, Connie Eberhart.
Day 15
Day 15 - Disease and Wellness
Disease is an experience of mortal mind.
It is fear made manifest on the body. Divine Science takes away this physical sense of discord, just as it removes a sense of moral or mental inharmony.
~Mary Baker Glover Eddy~
Illness and disability are challenging. We assume that we're entitled to be well, and when we become sick we often feel victimized and angry. Illness disrupts our schedules, forces us to rest when we feel we don't have the time, and sometimes it's simply painful. If we're born with or develop a physical or mental disability, we may feel depressed or angry. We also have many theories about illness: Some folks believe it's divine wrath, bad Karma for sinful acts, mentally created, genetically spawned, or just the normal course of life.
We've been given an amazing gift in life, called choice. When we're born, we get to experience whatever we feel we need to learn, grow and evolve. Perhaps we can see disease and illness as part of this experience. Does that mean I'm implying that we cause our own illness and disease? Well, many people have successfully healed themselves and others of serious illnesses. How is this possible? We could say that we're in the early stages of recognizing the power of mind, as the key to the entire expression of our reality, including the ability to heal - or to create illness. If you've never thought of taking ownership for your physical experience in this way, consider this point of view.
Recently, I watched a movie called Emmanuel's Gift, which was featured as part of the Spiritual Cinema Circle. The story focuses on a young man named Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah, who was born with a congenitally short leg. He not only transcends the beliefs of his own country (which perceives such disability as a family curse), but goes on to become an advocate for physically challenged people, proving that they can do anything in life, if they choose to. Rather than being a curse, his "disability" becomes a gift both for him and for the world.
In the end, it's a blessing for us to forgive all those we blame for illnesses, whether that might be the medical profession (a misdiagnosis from the doctor), poor care in the hospital (resulting in a worsening of an illness or death), a medication, an implant or surgery that caused more illness, or a sickness linked to a chemical plant or poisoning.
Also, forgiveness is critical for any illness we feel we've caused ourselves; for example, liver damage from drinking, AIDS, Herpes or Hepatitis C from unprotected sex, physical disability from an accident or from ignoring our bodies alarm systems (like not paying attention to chest pains, bad gums, shortness of breath, etc.).
Michelle James, Founder and CEO of The Center for Creative Emergence and developer of the Creativity for Wellness Program, reminds us: "Underneath the illness, surgery, accidents, self-criticism and blame exists a unique body-voice which delights in itself and is ever-seeking of more life. It calls for our embodiment. To forgive ourselves and our bodies means to reconnect with - and directly experience - our body-voice - whether through dialogue, drawing, journaling, storytelling, acting, movement, humor, ritual or deep listening."
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
If you're ill or have been in the past, look at the way you've chosen to perceive your experience. I invite you to answer the following questions:
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for hurting my physical body through mental or physical abuse and for judging any medical condition I may have. I commit to listening closely to the wisdom of my body's warning system.
Day 16
Day 17
Day 17 - Disappointment and Honoring
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
~C.G. Jung~
It's natural for parents to desire the best for their children. When gazing at their newborn, parents have glimpses of an imagined future. In this future, their child is healthy, loved, satisfied in their work and has the financial abundance to enjoy a full life. While these are admirable wishes, too often we have fixed ideas of how our children's lives should look and the road they should follow. Parents' expectations may arise because of a road not taken in their own lives, or the desire to uphold a family tradition.
Expectations for our children often lead to disappointment. For example; your child gets in trouble in school (you're disappointed with her poor behavior), or your son doesn't try out for the football team and wants to take dance lessons (you're disappointed because everyone knows that dance is for sissies and football is for young men). Perhaps your daughters' first serious boyfriend is of another race and you're disappointed she's not considering the future problems this may cause. Late in the night you receive a call from the police that your son has been arrested for selling drugs, again disappointment.
As much as parents may think that their children "belong to them," they are on their own journey in life. We can love our children and illuminate a path for them but when we're disappointed in them, our disappointment is a reflection of the incongruence between our beliefs of how their life should be and the way their life's actually unfolding.
Isn't it time to forgive your children for not doing what you wanted them to do? Isn't it time to free yourself from the expectations that are causing conflict and dissension between you and your children? In your heart of hearts, of course you only want the best for them, so why criticize and judge their choices harshly - isn't it time to honor your children with unconditional love?
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the Lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for the expectations and rules I place upon my children. I forgive my children for not fulfilling my expectations. I honor my children as full expressions of the divine and for the opportunities they offer me to embody unconditional love.
An excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the son's and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
Day 18
Day 18 - Control and Parenting
All the time a person is a child he is both a child and learning to be a parent. After he becomes a parent he becomes predominantly a
parent reliving childhood.
~ Benjamin Spock ~
Is there a more challenging and rewarding endeavor than raising children as far as our own spiritual development is concerned? Children test every aspect of our belief system. They're the first to point out when we're not walking our talk. One of the best ways to lose the respect of a child is to tell them to "do as I say, not as I do."
When we were children, we made many agreements about the way our parents should be, how much love we were receiving and if that love was expressed the way we desired. As children, we judged everything about our parents. These assessments were made from a child's point of view, one that did not comprehend the whole story or circumstances of what was going on at the time.
Those memories, judgments and assessments remain in our minds as adults and we either follow through in raising our children as our parents raised us, or we do the opposite in reaction to our childhood experiences (or a combo of both!). This observation is what Dr. Spock is alluding to in the quote at the opening of this chapter. The key to being the best parent possible is to avoid the trap of reactive parenting. To do this we must look deeply at ourselves and what we believe about our childhood, through the eyes of truth and compassion.
Vivian Glyck, author, The Tao of Poop: Keeping Your Sanity and Your Soul While Raising a Baby, shared this with me about her personal experience: "Sometimes it's excruciating to not be able to control everything about your child's life. If you just had more control, you could save them from all of the pain and disappointment they will experience - that's what all "good mothers" want to do. Forgive yourself for not being able to save your children from pain and choose to rejoice in their resilience instead."
Every person must transcend their own childhood and forgive their parents' mistakes in order to be happy. In turn, our children will eventually learn to forgive us for our ignorance and decisions we made out of fear. The difficult part is forgiving ourselves because we feel so guilty for hurting our children and for imposing our will on them. Let the guilt and shame go. Know that you did the best job you could've done at that time, based on the awareness you had back then.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for any actions I've taken regarding my children that created pain and suffering. I recognize I was doing the best I could at the time and forgive myself for any discord or hurt.
You can reach Vivian Glyck through her website: http://www.smartmamma.com/. Please take a moment to see what Vivian is doing in Africa: http://www.justlikemychild.com/.
Day 19
Day 19 - Resentment and Unconditional Love
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
~ Oscar Wilde ~
Parents generally receive the brunt of the blame for their children's unhappiness and misery in life. Countless psychotherapy sessions are devoted to moving through anger, blame and animosity directed toward parents. Either they smothered us with their love, abused us with their words and actions, or failed to provide the guidance and love we thought we should've had.
I spent time with a friend last night who told me that she'd been thinking about her father. He died more than ten years ago. She said she's just beginning to experience compassion when she thinks of him. I don't think her story is unusual. I spent much of my life, starting as a pre-teen being annoyed and resenting my parents. Simply that they "lived and breathed" was annoying to me, because they didn't do, say, or act the way I thought they should.
But what if our parents are the perfect parents for us? That's an idea expressed in the words of Spryte Loriano, "Suppose that our parents unconsciously knew what they were here to help us with, to help us learn so we could be successful in our mission? Is it possible that they actually put up cosmic obstacles or hurdles in our path, because that was their job, as our angels, to make sure that we developed the needed attributes to fulfill our mission?"
While we may or may not agree with Spryte's viewpoint, what's powerful here is that her words ask us to reconsider the way we have chosen to frame our parent's words and actions. Rather than resenting our parents, we can actually imagine that even the most painful actions on their part have assisted us in becoming the people we are today. Isn't it time to forgive, let go of old resentments and see our parents through the eyes of unconditional love?
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive my parents for not meeting my expectations. I love my parents unconditionally, see them as expressions of the divine, and recognize that they did the best they could.
A Story from Susyn:
My relationship with my mom was often tumultuous. I heard much of what she said as criticism. She constantly commented on my hair, my weight, and how I dressed. I'd armor myself up when I visited her as protection from an expected barrage of criticism.
Years later I began to wonder, "What if my mom is giving me the best possible opportunities to learn about unconditional love?" As I explored this question, I felt a sense of peace as I thought of my mom. As Mother's Day approached that year, I decided to read The Little Soul and the Sun to her as my gift, as a way to telling her "I love you and I see you." On Mother's Day, I got into bed with her and read the story. Her only comment was, "That's a nice story." I had a moment of disappointment because her reaction to the story wasn't what I expected. Then I remembered to free myself from my expectations. I took a deep breath and said, "I Love You Mom."
My mother died seven months later. While we didn't know that she had an appointment with death so soon, during those last seven months of her life all my resentment towards her dissolved. I knew she loved me, and I knew I loved her.
Day 20
Day 20 - Rivalry and Respect
When you focus, not on your siblings so much, but on your own peace of mind, you'll notice that as you become more at ease with life, forgiving others - even your siblings - will be a snap!
~ Richard Carlson ~
Many of us are familiar with the Old Testament story of the rivalry between two brothers, Cain and Abel. Cain, the older of the two, was constantly expected to help care for his younger brother, Abel. With time, Cain became annoyed and frustrated with Abel. Cain resented the expectations and responsibilities he had as an older brother. Finally Cain's anger towards Abel grew, and he murdered Abel. The concept of sibling rivalry has been part of our collective consciousness for as long as we can remember. I often wonder if the warring in the world today is an exaggerated expression of sibling rivalry.
Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff offers this wisdom: "The secret to forgiving and respecting your siblings is to first acknowledge the trap you were all innocently put into. It was no one's fault, not yours, siblings, or your parents. It's just the way it is. By acknowledging that you and your siblings tried your best, but ended up frustrated, you open the door (wide open) to see the innocence in your siblings.
"You can begin to understand, perhaps for the first time, that they truly did the best they knew how, given what they knew at the time. When someone is seen as innocent, even if they hurt you, it's relatively easy to forgive them. To not take their words and actions or their lack of words and actions personally is the path to personal freedom."
We may never know for sure why our siblings are our siblings, whether it was divine design or random chance. What we do know is that the human you call brother or sister, step-brother or sister, or half-sister or brother is an expression of the divine. Are you learning about unconditional love in relation to your sibling or is the rivalry expanding as the years go on? Are you a victim in this relationship, a persecutor, or do you dance between the two? Isn't it time to forgive for your own peace of mind, and to honor, respect and see the perfection of your siblings?
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for comparing myself to and judging my sibling(s). I know that my sibling(s) are expressions of the divine and give me the opportunity to be respectful and expand my capacity for unconditional love.
Day 21
Day 21 - Feuding and Harmony
You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
~Desmond Tutu~
At forgiveness workshops, I often ask how many people in the audience are aware of a feud in their family where one person refuses to speak to another. It always amazes me to find between 50-75% of the audience raising their hands! What does that say about the human state of affairs regarding forgiveness?
We often make the assumption that because we are related, our points of view and the way we see life should be similar. However, familial genetics do not assure agreement when it comes to beliefs, opinions and judgments!
As far as our friends go, we choose people whose belief systems align with ours. We purposely pick people to be friends with because they continually reinforce our personal viewpoint. When it comes to family, we don't choose them according to whether or not their point of view agrees with ours - we get what we get, just as former archbishop Desmond Tutu states in the quote above.
How do we deal with feisty relatives and family situations? We start with understanding that everyone is entitled to their personal point of view whether we agree with that perspective or not. If both parties cannot detach from their perspective or at least learn to compromise, then the only thing we can do is agree to disagree. However, seeing things from another's perspective creates an opening for understanding, compassion, discussion, and unconditional love. And aren't the qualities of love and harmony the foundation for the structure we call family?
Make the time to forgive yourself for any family discord that you either participated in or perpetuated. As part of the act of forgiving, forgive your family for any actions they took against you in their need to be right, even it if meant they were stubborn and contentious. If your family members are not interested in forgiving, that's okay - you've done your part to open your heart. Who knows what might happen in the future as a result of your action? Miracles are always possible.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Joan Breiner, CEO of Celebrate a Hero suggests making a celebration book to honor a family member or friend. She says, "When we take the time to celebrate the people in our life and acknowledge the gifts we've received from them, we create the opportunity to see people through the eyes of love and dissolve old wounds."
Joan has generously offered a discount coupon to the WITH Forgiveness community. Use this coupon code: KFE2WNTW at http://www.celebrateahero.com/ and celebrate your family.
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for any anger and resentment I have held against any family members. I forgive my family for their harsh judgments against me. I no longer desire to ex-communicate people from my family and condemn them and myself in the process.
Day 22
Day 22 - Opposition and Union
I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.
~Mohandas K. Gandhi~
I like to think of the dynamics of marriage and partnership as a microcosmic reflection of global politics. Certainly there's conflict and war, reconciliation and harmony - all present in one bedroom! Conflict and opposition arises because we get more involved in defending our beliefs than in loving each other.
I know very few people who haven't had the opportunity to grow and learn about themselves within the context of partnership and union. A partner is a mirror reflecting our expression of divine unconditional love as well as reflecting us as the Wicked Witch of the West (at times)! If we start from the place of gratitude for our experience, we are less likely to get defensive and be more open to learning.
When I first started on my spiritual path, my teacher gave me a powerful personal assignment. He asked me to thank my ex-husband for having an affair, meeting his new wife and divorcing me. I found his request a bit shocking and so did my ex-husband! He was taken aback when I thanked him for having the affair and asked me why I would share this with him. I explained that I no longer desired to be a victim of any situation. Living my life from gratitude was my goal.
Originally, I could only see the affair as a "bad" thing - but later I realized it could be seen as bad or good, depending on whether I wanted to be a victim or a co-creator of my life. When I finally took responsibility for my life, I realized I co-created the affair with him (it always takes two to tango). I was able to have gratitude for the experience and forgive the two of us for our non-awareness.
Our friend Krystalya MariƩ has a very powerful story to share with you: "It was many years after I had been beaten and stabbed by a man I had dated, before I learned the power of forgiveness. Until I forgave him, I continued to attract abusive people into my life, and they all reflected how I was abusive to myself."
Forgiveness allows us to change our old points of view and ways of perceiving the world, which opens us up to amazing experiences. Having heard my story and Krystalya's, think about how you could reframe some of your more challenging life situations. Re-write those old victim stories taking responsibility for your creation and see it as a powerful opportunity for self-growth and discovery.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
I've created a short list of things we can forgive our partners and ourselves for. Of course, feel free to adjust list so that it applies to you. If you get stuck, light a candle for that item and pray for clarity, an open heart, and for Spirit to assist you in your process. It's all right if forgiveness does not come all at once.
I forgive my partner, ex-partner and/or myself for:
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for not taking responsibility for the co-creation of my relationships. I have gratitude for my partners and the lessons they've shared with me.
Day 23
Day 23 - Expectations and Understanding
Blessed is he who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed.
~Alexander Pope~
Expectations can be said to be the root of all evil. Think about it: If we didn't have expectations of people and situations we'd never have cause to be upset about anything! We expect our friends are going to show up for lunch, that the business contract we signed will come to fruition and that no one will cut us off in traffic. But truly, we can have all the expectations we want of people; it doesn't mean we're going to get what we want from them - even if they promised.
Every person is doing the best they can from their current point of view and level of consciousness. Measuring others against our personal yardsticks is never productive because other people don't think or have the same beliefs as we do. When we impose our beliefs on others, the result is pain and suffering on both sides.
Whenever I talk about these ideas, people say that we have to have expectations or no one will do anything. However, think about this for a minute. When we say that, we're making the assumption that without a contractual arrangement - whether it is verbal or written - people won't be inspired to follow through on their word. If we need the threat of retribution to force people to do what they've promised, this means that humanity is not a very responsible bunch! However, if we are impeccable with our word, we will do our best to follow through with what we've said and not create pain and suffering in others. (By impeccable I mean speaking without going against ourselves or the intent to do wrong.)
We live most successfully when we all operate from wanting to do our best because we enjoy doing so and it makes our heart sing - as opposed to being under the whip of a feisty belief system filled with expectations telling us we must perform in a certain way to be good enough. In one case we are living the will of the Creator moving through us; in the other, we are living the will of our domesticated mind. One way of living is fulfilling and limitless, and the other is limiting, controlling and rigid.
Rita Rivera and Meghan McChesney-Gilroy, co-creators of Life Mastery, share this powerful advice: "When life doesn't meet your expectations, be aware of your emotional reaction and the way your physical body feels in the moment. Imposing our expectations on others and/or ourselves can only lead to disappointment. We experience disappointment as an uncomfortable and disturbing sensation within our bodies which steals our happiness and sense of inner well being. Suddenly our quality of life is altered because we believed our expectations about the way someone or something "should" or "should not' be. In fact, becoming aware of when we use the words "should" or "should not" in our internal dialogue is a great indicator that we're about to set ourselves up for pain and suffering."
Whatever the situation, the bottom line is this: It's not about us. People do what they are going to do and it isn't always what we want, wish or hope for. If we could just remember this one statement, we could be happy for the rest of our lives. Let's forgive others for their side of the situation and forgive ourselves for imposing our belief system on them, for not understanding and for using their actions (or lack thereof) to get ourselves upset.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for imposing my expectations and beliefs on others, and for allowing myself to get upset when others do not live up to my expectations.
Day 24 - Non-Awareness and Grace
Each of us at any time and space is doing the very best
we can with what we have.
~ Louise L. Hay ~
Our thoughts and actions are a direct reflection of our consciousness and current level of awareness. Using a computer analogy our awareness is based on the software installed. Our parents, cultural and societal morals, the media, and those people and organizations we perceive as authorities, have programmed our software. This programming is based on thoughts voiced with authority and conviction that, consciously or unconsciously, we have agreed are truth. Once the programming is installed, it functions as an invisible filter directly influencing every relationship and experience we have.
Each version of software has rules and beliefs about the behaviors and actions of others. If their behavior is congruent with our beliefs, peaceful co-existence and indeed a magnificent harmony is possible. If their behavior is at odds with our beliefs, there is conflict, anger, and blame.
Every act, whether we agree with it or not, is the very best a person can do based on their current thinking. If you really take the time to listen to the reasons someone has for joining a gang, committing acts of violence, having an affair, or failing to remember your birthday you will discover that, their behavior is understandable according to the way they perceive the world.
Most people believe they are making conscious life choices, when in fact they are responding to their computer software. This isn't true awareness. We take action with grace when we recognize life and Spirit moving through us and make our choices based on that wisdom, rather than the "knowledge" lodged in our programming. Each and every moment we have the ability to have a new thought, to upgrade the software of our mind. Forgiveness is a key to upgrading the software.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Day 25 - Presumption and Listening
There are men who would quickly love each other if once they were to speak to each other; for when they spoke they would discover that their souls had only separated by phantoms and delusions.
~ Ernest Hello ~
Human communication is complicated at best. How many of us have been in a situation where someone said to us, "I never told you that!" or "I said that, but that's not what I meant." When someone is speaking to us, we take their words and filter them through our belief system. Then we come to a conclusion, believing we understood the other person. To confuse issues further, we know that people don't always say what they mean out of fear of hurting each other, fear of judgment, or retribution. They may say something that isn't what they actually mean figuring we'll understand what their true intention is. While we're at it, we can add in the difficulty we have translating other languages, especially idioms, colloquialisms and words that have no translation from one language to another. What's the solution?
Listening! It isn't about listening to what we want to hear according to our personal point of view. It's about listening to what the other person is saying from their point of view. This requires putting interpretations and assumptions aside and asking for clarification if there is any doubt. A statement as simple as; "I heard you say x, y and z - is that what you meant?" can make a huge difference in human communication.
It's also crucial to listen to the emotional quality of the message, the music behind the words. For example, I can say "I love you" with love dripping from my words or say the same thing with rancor and sarcasm. To truly listen requires being present in the moment. Too often we're thinking at the same time another person is talking and we've answered or judged what they've said before they're finished speaking. Or maybe we're completing their sentences out loud! If someone's speaking, focus your attention on them not on you.
Denise Trifiletti founder of Women's Community shared the following with us: "Forgiving often seems more difficult in western cultures, simply because we are taught to compete, be better, win, and conquer. We aren't taught the intricacies of deep listening and understanding. Nor are we are taught to see, or readily accept, different perspectives. But truly, listening is the first step on the ladder to creating beautiful personal and business relationships. Too often we make assumptions about what others are thinking, feeling or doing, and this affects our ability to work successfully together. Forgiveness is the solution to these issues, opening the door to abundance and creativity." Listening and being present is an art. There's wisdom in the proverb: God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak! Let's forgive all beings for not paying attention when others talk, for distorting their words, for cutting them off, for completing their sentences, and for making assumptions about what they are saying.
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
To enhance your listening skills practice the following for the next 24 hours:
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself and others for all misunderstood and misinterpreted communications and for not being present in a heartfelt way. I choose to actively listen to others, respecting them and what they're saying when they're speaking.
Day 26
Day 26 - Critical and Allowing
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy
and keep you from love.
~ Leo Buscaglia ~
Emotions are energy in motion. There are times when our energy flows freely and smoothly. We feel confident, happy, at one. Our body, mind, and spirit are aligned in the present moment. This experience has many names: the zone, peak performance, nirvana, love, and grace. When we're having this experience, we are peace, we are love, our heart is open, and our spiritual eyes see beauty in all creation.
When you pay attention to your thoughts, words and actions you may notice that your attention is frequently focused on what's wrong, problems, who's to blame, past wounds, and future fears. Circumstances generating this suffering and misery can be as simple as having to wait in a long line in the supermarket or being on hold on the telephone; or as frightening as a raised terror alert or a diagnosis of cancer.
When we're around people who are constantly complaining, moody, and angry, their energy is contagious. Sometimes we "catch" their anger and frustration because we agree with their story. Other times we're critical of their emotions and get angry at them for being moody and angry. We think our anger is justified since they're wrong to be angry!
What causes someone to be angry, moody and miserable? Anger is often sparked when people or circumstances don't meet our expectations of how things should be. Rather than acknowledging what is, we feel victimized by others for persecuting us, or angry with ourselves for getting into the predicament we're in. We're attached to the story of "poor me."
When we get angry with someone for the emotions they're expressing, there are now two angry people. When we understand that someone's emotional response is based on their current point of view and no longer judge them, we can have an experience of peace and happiness no matter what someone else is feeling. This doesn't mean we're cold and uncaring when someone is experiencing emotional pain. Instead, we have compassion for their suffering without taking on their suffering.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
Today's Affirmation
"I forgive because I am capable of expressing compassion. By forgiving, I release this situation from my energy field and feel clearheaded and full-hearted. I forgive because I am able to rise to my higher self and feel lighter. My light knows no boundaries when I forgive. Life feels lighter when I forgive."
This beautiful affirmation is an excerpt from Charlene Proctor, PhD's book; Let Your Goddess Grow! - 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking. Visit her website at http://www.thegoddessnetwork.net/
Day 27 - Selfishness and Generosity
The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving.
~Albert Einstein~
Our ego-mind develops when we're young and learning to have a sense of ourselves as individuals. Our Spirit is eternal whereas our ego-mind, matches our chronological age. The mind is young and impetuous with many wants and needs, like a two year old child. It's often frightened by other people, while our Spirit is patient, at peace, and the expression of unconditional love.
When we operate from the childlike wants and needs of our ego - we spend our lives afraid, constantly trying to figure out how to protect ourselves from others, and how to get what we believe we need to survive or to look better than others. We can see this pattern mirrored in the larger global picture. Every country worries about the resources they have, whether or not someone else is going to try to take them away - and how they can get what they believe they need.
Generosity, when it comes from the ego, is the need for validation in disguise. When we give to receive the accolades of others, this is selfishness. The motivation for true giving is an open heart and the desire to live and love audaciously, without fear or boundaries. When we can give and it no longer matters to us what anyone thinks - we are free of the ego's habit of linking its self-worth to others. Imagine if you no longer lived your life needing love, approval or validation, and no longer had the need to be right and make others wrong to bolster your ego.
We are compelled to take actions from our wounded ego-mind, which has us behaving in hurtful ways towards others. At the same time we are compelled to take action from Spirit moving through us, which has us expressing our unconditional love. In each moment, one force will prevail. That's why humans can be so beautiful, loving and generous in one moment, and mean, hurtful and selfish in the next. It is up to us to make a conscious choice - do we live from selfishness or generosity?
With all my love, Sheri
Practicing the lesson
Watch how you interact with people. Notice if you express any of these behaviors. If you do, forgive yourself in the moment and do your best to practice new behaviors. Remember, these are challenging aspects of our selves to look at. Make sure that you do so with kindness, forgiveness and lots of unconditional love.
Today's Affirmation
I forgive all beings for living the will of the ego-mind and for denying ourselves the opportunity to express unconditional love, generosity and joy in every moment. I choose to generously living the will of God/Spirit moving though me.
Day 28 - Other and Self
It was he [John the Baptist] who said, "Love your enemies," not J [Jesus]. J wouldn't have any concept of an enemy.
~Gary Renard, The Disappearance of the Universe~
The dream of life we unconsciously live in is filled with labels, stereotypes and definitions. These create a distinction between what we perceive as our "self" and "others." Throughout history, these differences based on race and ethnicity have resulted in verbal abuse, physical violence, and genocide. Just as we swat a fly at a picnic, step on a cockroach in the kitchen, or initiate chemical warfare against ants in our home - we treat those who are not like us as the enemy and less than human.
Our world seems to be in the midst of chaos. As I write this, fear-based beliefs of the "other" in the Middle East create daily images of violence and destruction. We can witness heartbreak on the faces of people as missiles and rockets annihilate those we call "the enemy." Isn't this an extreme and dramatic expression of the judgments we hold against people who are not like us?
In seeing "others" as the enemy, we agree to a set of beliefs that justify our fears. Our beliefs are so much a part of the fabric of our consciousness that we have an automatic response that goes into effect when we are in the presence of the "other," independent of how politically correct we may try to be.
What would our experience be like if the definition we used when seeing people were: They are an expression of the divine? What would it be like to see and experience the world through those eyes?
We can change our thinking and acknowledge that we are one and inter-connected. Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself". We can see the true enemy is fear itself - not the people who we perceive to be different from us. Forgive yourself for your fear-based beliefs about those who appear to be the "other". You will discover compassion, reconciliation and unconditional love when you give yourself the gift of forgiveness.
With all my love, Susyn
Practicing the lesson
When you greet someone today, practice saying Namaste, a Sanskrit word that translates to: The divine in me honors and acknowledges the divine in you.
Today's Affirmation
I forgive myself for the fear-based beliefs I've projected on "others" and for the fear they have projected upon me. I see the divine in all people.